Navigating Loss with Megan Buriak, Founder of The AWS1 James Buriak Foundation
On loss, leadership, and showing up “so others may live”
Welcome to The Village! I’m Kate – an essayist and mother fascinated by the ways we create community in our lives, inspired by those who do it well, and convinced that thriving communities are what makes for a joyful world.
On August 31, 2021, Megan Buriak got the knock on the door every military spouse fears. Her husband James “Jimmy” Buriak, a Navy rescue swimmer, had been in a helicopter crash into the Pacific Ocean off the coast of San Diego. The crash killed five of the six people aboard, including Jimmy.
In the days that followed, Megan’s community showed up to help her through the fog of grief, the mountains of paperwork, and the first steps needed to begin navigating life for herself and their young son on her own.
In the weeks that followed, Megan knew she wanted to build on her husband’s legacy as a rescue swimmer who put himself in harm’s way “so others may live.” She founded The AWS1 James Buriak Foundation with a goal to be that community for other military families living through their own devastating loss, providing immediate support in the aftermath of an incident, education, and advocacy.
I met Megan at a conference where she spoke about her mission to support other families through the hardest days of their grief, to make sure military families are prepared as best as possible for the worst possible outcome, and her work to continue Jimmy’s legacy of helping others. Donate here to support the foundation’s work.
This conversation has been lightly edited for clarity.
1. What are some of the ways the community showed up for you after your husband died?
The community showed up for our family in many different ways. From knocking on my door the evening he went down, to the texts, messages, the flowers, the outpouring of meals and groceries. Helping navigate life – my son’s daycare and routine, to feeding our family, processing everyday things, to helping with the insurmountable paperwork, helping hold media at bay and to ensure Jimmy and all crew of LOOSEFOOT 616 were properly returned home to where they belonged.
2. The rescue swimmer motto is ‘So others may live.’ You felt called to start this organization in Jimmy’s memory and to honor his legacy. What are some of the concrete ways your organization helps others going through the unimaginable?
The foundation offers our self. We are your everyday people that get it. We lived it, we walked that journey from the first news report. We are military affiliated – pilots, crewman, spouses, all invested into this community.
Program 1: Education
We understand the duty, the mission, and we also understand preparing commands, service members, and families so that they can proactively approach the conversation and topic to “plan for the worst possible day in the best possible way.” It’s changing our mindset. If we prepare better on the front end, deployments are less stressful, our minds are more clear to the task at hand, families are more successful, and mission readiness as a whole improves. If something then were to occur, post-loss families are left knowing all of their paperwork was squared away. We discuss aviation clauses in commercial life insurance policies (we unknowingly had one and lost $400,000), power of attorneys, wills, and what secondary next-of-kin notifications look like from a survivor’s perspective. There are so many ripples that happen after your service member passes and our job is to ensure that we educate on those.
Program 2: Support
We offer 14 days of groceries post-mishap to parents, spouses, and spouses with kids. 30 days of childcare, 30 days of diapers, wipes, formula, and baby food.
Program 3: Referral and Advocacy
We ensure that families have access to information for other foundations that are networked in. For example: taking care of extra debt, moving expenses, mortgage payoffs, etc. We have built out a 90-day road map post-loss for commands, CACO’s, and for families. It makes navigating things when you’re still in shock somewhat easier when you have a template, if you will.
3. What challenges have you faced in getting the organization off the ground? How did you overcome them?
Building a foundation after you lose your person is so challenging. You want to do all the things and help all of the people. Ensuring that each step was taken correctly was important to me so ensuring you have your mission and staying focused on your core responsibilities.
I personally wanted people to see me for who I am. I wasn’t just a widow, or just AWS1 Buriak's wife. I am Megan Buriak – prior command ombudsman, prior FRG president, prior Department of the Navy civilian, and the Founder and President of The AWS1 James Buriak Foundation, and so finding my voice to step into this path was scary but incredibly rewarding. I knew with time that people would see that I was capable, that I had valuable information to share, and that I was ready to be their “White Horse.” But I also knew that I had to show up, put in the work, create our mission, and work hard.
4. We’ve chatted about how there are so many obstacles sometimes as military spouses that it often feels like addressing even one of them is just the tip of the iceberg. What kind of support do you need most now?
We are in year two now and we are currently still working on mission awareness, sponsors, and getting the word out on who we are and what we do. I’ve heard from several people that we are “that memorial foundation,” or that we are only for crewmen. While we are here to ensure that Jimmy’s legacy continues and we are named after him, we also ensure that LOOSEFOOT 616 isn't forgotten and that every mishap that follows ours has full access to the foundation, our resources and the network we are building. We love our crewman, but we love our aircrew and all of aviation. We are a community, our families and our service members need a connecting factor and I hope we can be that.
5. And last - whose work inspires you?
Ryan Manion, a gold star sister. She is a beast of an individual. Her motivation, her drive, and her ability to show resilience in the midst of pain is incredible. She leads from the front and makes a huge impact in her community. She is my goal.
Theresa Jones, a gold star widow. She continues to show up for our community and has so many lessons learned after losing her own spouse. She showed up for me on day three. When our names were announced she was one of the ones welcoming me to this new club that I never wanted to be in. She gave me so much of her brain, her knowledge and her expertise. You want to know how we make it through immeasurable pain. It's people like that. She made things easier to understand and to work through when I didn't know what to do.
Most importantly, my best friend Becca. She is my rock. She has been by my side since day 0. She accepted me and every piece of me that I had to give. When I was weak, she was strong. When I couldn’t find my words, she had them. She is incredibly selfless. She is a wife, a mama to a little boy who was born on Jimmy’s birthday, and runs a full practice with patients, she also leads my East Coast Chapter for the foundation and still finds time to help me navigate this life even while grieving her own loss for Jimmy. You see, they were friends too. You find these special people in your life, the ones that you can’t live without, she is one of mine. Her hard work and dedication to all things that are her passion, are inspiring and allow me to continue to push forward on the days that are hard, because we are all capable of doing hard things.
Thank you so much, Megan, for the work that you’re doing to make loss easier on others and for sharing your story. Support Megan’s work by donating here to The AWS1 James Buriak Foundation or join the LOOSEFOOT 616 Memorial Run on 8/19/23 virtually, or in person in Virginia Beach and Coronado. All proceeds go to the foundation.